If I Can't Love Her
by Tangled4ever
Summary: 'The whole idea of sharing a love with her was idiotic. She was so good, so sweet, so innocent... He was merely a thief, a petty criminal, a wanted man...' Inspired by the song from the Beauty and the Beast Broadway Soundtrack.


**Hello again! Don't ask me why, but for some reason I decided pairing this song with Eugene's conflict between Flynn and his feelings for Rapunzel was a good idea… It's strange I know, considering that I've always thought this song would go well for the Phantom of the Opera, but I'm proud of it…**

**Anyway, I love this song so if you haven't listened to it, then I highly recommend it… Hope you enjoy this!**

**.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.**

**If I Can't Love Her**

Cradling his hand, Eugene walked away from her bright smile and the fire's comforting glow, into the darkness of the star-lit forest. This had - without doubt - been the most unusual, surprising day of his life. It was hard to believe just how much had happened in so little time.

That morning, the plan had plain and simply been: steal the crown, ditch the Stabbingtons, make a run for it, and finally live a life of luxury. He'd never planned on meeting her, he never planned on striking this deal, and he _NEVER_ planned on feeling so torn and confused.

_He had to admit; putting all her quirks aside, she really was very beautiful. Breathtaking, in fact, especially with those shimmering green eyes-_

_No! They had a deal. In a day's time they'd be parting ways, never to see each other again. He had to stop this insanity. Looking away, he quickly formed an excuse as to why he had to be alone. Standing up, he began rambling about firewood, mentally kicking himself for his stammering._

"_Hey."_

_Turning on his heel, his eyes met hers, before she spoke again, "For the record, I like Eugene Fitzherbert much better than Flynn Rider…"_

That had been the first time he'd been aware of this strange new feeling he could suddenly find within himself. He wasn't even sure when it started. Maybe when they met… Maybe when he told her his real name… Maybe back there at the campsite… All he knew was she'd done something to him, and he didn't know what.

As he collected the firewood, a piece of paper pinned to a nearby tree caught his attention. Dumping the bundle of sticks on the ground, he pulled the poster from the tree and sat on a large tree root.

"_Wanted: Dead or Alive  
__Flynn Rider  
__Thief"_

This was obviously one of his earlier wanted posters, judging by how extremely inaccurate it was. Unlucky himself, the man in the poster had a narrow face with beady eyes, complete with a beak-like nose that took up a good third of his face. In short, he looked somewhat like a monster - a beast...

It was strange to think that just this morning he would have been repulsed by that face, yet now all he could do was stare at it.

_And in my twisted face  
__There's not the slightest trace  
__Of anything that even hints at kindness_

Was this really what people saw when they looked at him? A monster? A beast? He'd always prided himself on his looks, but what about the man underneath the charming smile and soft brown eyes? Was that internal corruption really that obvious?

_And from my tortured shape  
__No comfort, no escape  
__I see, but deep within is utter blindness_

At that moment, he began to question why he ever thought stealing was a good idea in the first place. Other than providing the basic needs for survival, it never really brought any sort of comfort. All it did was take hold like a drug and swallowed him whole, masking the good around him.

_Hopeless  
__As my dream dies  
__As the time flies  
__Love a lost illusion_

This terrible addiction hadn't just robbed him of his senses. It also robbed him of his childhood dreams of loving someone, and being loved in return.

_Helpless  
__Unforgiving  
__Cold and driven  
__To this sad conclusion_

Up until now, it never bothered him - living life alone. But it turns out escaping death's clutches by sheer moments really makes you rethink your life. Floating there in that flooding cavern with her, he'd suddenly remembered everything he'd once dreamed of having, everything he'd failed to achieve. As he'd waited for himself to drown, he'd wondered if there had ever been a chance he could've had that special something with Rapunzel.

And now that they were safe, alive and dry, he only pondered on the idea more.

_No beauty could move me  
__No goodness improve me  
__No power on earth, if I can't love her_

The whole idea of sharing a love with her was idiotic. She was so good, so sweet, so innocent... He was merely a thief, a petty criminal, a wanted man...

_No passion could reach me  
__No lesson could teach me  
__How I could have loved her and make her love me too_

It had been years since he'd even considered anyone else; how could he possibly give her the pure, selfless love she deserved?

_If I can't love her, then who?_

Come to think of it, it was unlikely he could ever be that selfless for anyone. He and his heart were damaged, perhaps too damaged to be repaired…

_Long ago I should have seen  
__All the things I could have been_

He might not have had a great start to life, but he was a smart kid. He should have seen this coming. He should have realised that a life of crime would never give him the belonging and happiness his younger self once craved, but no…

_Careless and unthinking, I moved onward_

He'd been foolish. He didn't stop to consider the outcome of his actions. And now, despite finally realising where he went wrong, it was too late to avoid it. He was the most wanted criminal Corona had ever known. No one would forget that; he'd go down in history, and for all the wrong reasons.

_No pain could be deeper  
__No life could be cheaper  
__No point anymore, if I can't love her_

Although, there was one lone person who wasn't disgusted by the selfish man that continued to haunt him - one wise soul with a heart good enough to look past what he was, and see what he could be. _Rapunzel…_ If anyone could set him straight, it was her… The only question was, just how deeply damaged was he?

_No spirit could win me  
__No hope left within me  
__Hope I could have loved her and that she'd set me free_

Until now, it seemed like all hope was lost. But maybe, just maybe, there was a chance that if he could find it in himself to care about someone other than himself, maybe she'd be able to save him from himself.

_But it's not to be  
__If I can't love her  
__Let thou world be done with meeeeeeeeeee!_

In that moment, he made up his mind, and made a promise to himself. From now on, the crown didn't matter; his top priority was to make sure her birthday was something to remember. For both their sakes, he needed to change, and he was going to change. And maybe, with a little luck, she'd somehow find the selfless, caring person he was in his youth.

Standing up, Eugene collected the firewood he'd gathered and began making his way back to the campsite. He was going to change, for her, but it had to be slow progress. He couldn't just waltz in there a different man. He had to think of something to say for when he got back, and it had to be something that would cross Flynn Rider's mind at the very least.

As he neared the campsite, he had the perfect thing to say, "So… Heya, can I ask you something? Is there any chance I'm gonna get super strength in my hand, because I'm not gonna lie, _that_ would be stupendous…"

His smirk faded when he saw that she was standing with her back to him, staring off into the darkness. "Hey, you alright?"

"Oh! Sorry yes, just um… lost in thought, I guess…" her voice was uncertain, like she was just saying that to cover up what she was really thinking.

Deciding it was best not to push her, Eugene shrugged, kneeling on the ground to tend to the fire, "I mean because here's the thing, superhuman good looks? I've always had 'em, born with it! But superhuman _strength_? Can you imagine the possibilities of this?"

She made a noise that sounded like an attempt at a chuckle, "I don't think so…"

Looking up, he frowned again. She was just staring at the fire as its flames danced in the light breeze. Sighing, he stood up and walk towards her. Her head shot up, and he carefully took her hands in his, "Are you _sure_ you're okay?"

At first, she yet again refused to meet his eyes, but eventually she gave in, "I'm just a bit nervous, you know? My first time, being outside at night…"

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head, "You've got nothing to be afraid of. I'll protect you, and your reptile can be a lot scarier than he looks…"

Said reptile just glared at him, but his words were rewarded with a beautiful laughter that made his heart race a million miles an hour.

Hugging him, she smiled, "Thanks Eugene."

Fighting down the blush that so badly wanted to burst across his face, he hugged her back, "You're welcome…"

Pulling back, the two heard the soft sound of bells clanging in the distance. Twelve clangs later, Eugene looked back to the girl beside him, "Midnight. We should get some sleep…"

The two moved to opposite sides of the campfire, making themselves comfortable. As they lay on the soft, grassy ground, Eugene felt the need to say one more thing…

"Rapunzel?"

"Yeah?"

"Happy birthday."

She smiled sleepily at him, and he felt his insides get wobbly.

"Thank you," she replied, drifting off to sleep.

He, on the other hand, just watched her sleep for a minute or two. She really was extraordinary, and he was now more sure than ever that she'd be the one to fix him.

Closing his eyes, he too fell asleep, dreaming of a new life, of a new dream; not on his own private island, but in the arms of the beautiful blonde slowly repairing his tattered heart.

**.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.**

**There! Not bad for a days' work, if I do say myself… (Did I really just right that in under **_**6 hours**_**?!) Let me know what you think! :)**


End file.
